A page from my diary– June 2020

God, my soul is crying. Every part of me is weeping! To be Black in America is a blessing disguised as a wicked curse. I have so much pride in who I am but I fear being black continuously. We have been on a stay at home order for months due to the Coronavirus with little to no relief is given by the government, then a string of wrongful deaths of MY BLACK People by racist AND cops now has our country torn. The peaceful protest and riots of the weekend show we are tired. Tired of being treated less than and pretending everything is ok. We are letting our country burn in hopes that as the phoenix something new will be rebirthed. I hate to see my people suffer! I hate how real racial tension is but hating the problem doesn’t stop it. God, I pray that there is a transformation in this land I call home, the only home I have ever known. God, I pray that you reveal to the seemingly blind the oppression in the world that they have the privilege to ignore. I wish I was as lucky as them, to pretend that injustice doesn’t exist. But as a Black woman in America, I have experienced the pain first hand since childhood like so many of my black brothers and sisters. God my whole being grieves! I have experienced every emotion from rage, pride, and disgust this past month. God grant me peace, renew my hope, and God please bless America.