Tag: black writers

My Soul Is Crying

.Reading time 2 minutes.

A page from my diary– June 2020

God, my soul is crying. Every part of me is weeping! To be Black in America is a blessing disguised as a wicked curse. I have so much pride in who I am but I fear being black continuously. We have been on a stay at home order for months due to the Coronavirus with little to no relief is given by the government, then a string of wrongful deaths of MY BLACK People by racist AND cops now has our country torn. The peaceful protest and riots of the weekend show we are tired. Tired of being treated less than and pretending everything is ok. We are letting our country burn in hopes that as the phoenix something new will be rebirthed. I hate to see my people suffer! I hate how real racial tension is but hating the problem doesn’t stop it. God, I pray that there is a transformation in this land I call home, the only home I have ever known. God, I pray that you reveal to the seemingly blind the oppression in the world that they have the privilege to ignore. I wish I was as lucky as them, to pretend that injustice doesn’t exist. But as a Black woman in America, I have experienced the pain first hand since childhood like so many of my black brothers and sisters. God my whole being grieves! I have experienced every emotion from rage, pride, and disgust this past month. God grant me peace, renew my hope, and God please bless America.

That Rona and Other Pet Peeves

.Reading time 5 minutes.

As I head into my fifth week of a stay at home order due to COVID-19 or coronavirus, guys I’m tired! I feel blessed that at this time I have job security and can work safely from my home while essential workers must risk their life daily and millions of Americans go without work altogether. With all of the talk about trump checks and travel cancellation, I decided to push through the heaviness in the air and share my feelings about the current state of the year 2020 and what I am really tired of!

  1. Netflix/Hulu/Disney+: Anybody who knows me is aware that I don’t do TV or movies. I get this form of screen time at most once a month but often only every other month. Y’all I have watched 5 movies in the past 3 weeks and my mind is blown that I can even do it. I have never been the person to watch a show just because everyone is talking about it so I have still managed to keep my weekly tv hours low but I fell into a trap or two. I tried to tell myself I would stream a show or movie with someone but to be honest I’m not because I already need a break from the TV
  2. Conspiracy Theories: Y’all I love a good read even a good documentary but I just can not handle scrolling down my timeline another day to read the crazy conspiracy theories y’all have floating around. We are in the middle of a GLOBAL pandemic as in countries all over the world are facing this same virus but we are finding anything to blame it on except a poor health care system, poor government regulations, racial and wealth disparities, and slow nation-wide response. But I will let y’all continue to argue over 5G towers, human guinea pigs, and vegan superpowers.
  3. Don’t Rush Challenge: Ok it was real cute at first but ya’ll know how to run something until its all the way broke down on social media! I enjoyed that song and now I dread hearing it at this point. You guys have managed to make remix after remix for young men, nurses, doctors, families, moms, old men and I am tired of it all! I hope that this week somebody makes up a new challenge for me to get tired of because I am about to starting muting this one as of today because I am done!
  4. Instastories Challenges: During the first week in the house the pushup challenge was cute and the shot challenge was manageable. But as we cross this one month mark I don’t want to get tagged in any more challenges to do anything on camera! My story needs to consist of me looking my past best on throwback and not my current crispy dry hair and persistently in pajamas self.
  5. Lack of Care: I have certainly take my share of maybe unnecessary trips to the grocery store or to pick up food. Despite an occasional in-home house meet up with a friend or two I can not understand people who take no precautions and continue with life as usual. I have seen way too many videos over the past few weeks of block parties, mansion parties, and large hangouts in public places. I barely want to wear my clothes into the house after being out but people are throwing huge gatherings as if black people are not dying at a disproportionate rate.

You guys may similarly be tired of these same things as we face at least a few more weeks safely in our homes. It may seem as if the only thing we have to do now is to scroll through social media, make Tik Toks, and stream every show and movie we can think of but don’t forget to prioritize other forms of self-care. I separate from screen time by taking walks, exercising, reading and journaling. Whatever you choose to do with your newly discovered free time if you have it just make the best if it. -Jaz